“What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

Kids are entitled to learn their own lessons in life.

My eldest son is a self-taught fisherman. Going fishing in South Africa is easy peasy as you don’t need a license or anything. You just need to figure out, if it is bait fishing or fly-fishing territory ;) So, from what I can tell, my son is really good at it and knows how to catch and release without doing any harm. Since we are back in Germany, my boy hasn’t gone fishing. Studying and getting his fishing license seemed too much of a hurdle after the experienced freedom.

Two days ago, on the way to school, he saw someone else fishing in our local river. In the afternoon my son grabbed his own rod and took off. Did I tell him to stop, knowing that he needed a license? No. Maybe I should have. But I only asked him: “You know, you’re not allowed. So, what’s the worst thing that can happen?” He responded: “That someone will ask if I have a license and that I then need to stop.”

He came back 2 hours later, happy as a pie. When he started to fish, an elderly fisherman and his dog ‘Lilly’ approached him. The man asked indeed if he had a license. My boy was honest and said no. The man was a member of the local fishing club. And instead of telling my son to stop, he invited him to join him at his fishing spot. End of story: my son is now studying every afternoon to get his license.

What I am trying to say is NOT to do anything illegal. But rather to take calculated risks. It will allow our kids to grow, to learn their own life lessons, to become more resilient and a deep knowing that we trust them to solve things on their own.

BTW: Today, he forgot his lunch box and water bottle at home. Am I driving to school now? No, because I know that he’ll find a solution. And no, I don’t feel like a bad mom because I allow life to happen…

Warmly, Viviane