How to become a more coach-like leader
My inspiration
Among my clients I’ve seen one question on the rise:
“How can I be less of a (micro-) manager and more of a leader who gives direction and empowers?”
I looked at my bookshelf and found a gem that strikes with its simplicity and effectiveness.
“This book is not about turning you into a coach. It’s about making you a leader, a manager, a human being who’s more coach-like. Which means building this simple but difficult new habit: Stay curious a little longer. Rush to action and advice-giving a little more slowly.”
– Excerpt from Michael Bungay Stanier’s book: The Coaching Habit
So, let’s get to it!
Step 1
Understand first what is your go-to reaction when an employee comes to you with a certain topic or challenge. Most of us tend to give the answer, offer advice, provide a solution. Why do we do this? We feel needed. We feel important. We try to avoid their mistakes which might prolong the process. So, watch yourself for a couple of days. Take notes. Collect data. What is your reaction pattern? And what is the reasoning behind your reaction?
Step 2
Now think about what this will do to you and the employee in the long-term if it’s always YOU? You give the fish, but you don’t teach them how to fish. Do you know how many fishes you have catch every day if you are the sole supplier? If you are the only one who knows how to do it? It is simply exhausting. So instead of jumping immediately to giving an answer, catch yourself in that moment. Shut your mouth. Take a deep breath. Take a step backwards. Whatever it is you need to stop yourself from “giving the fish”.
Step 3
Ask questions. Pause. Listen. Repeat the question if needed. Breathe. Stay present (no screens if possible). Michael Bungay Stanier provides seven core questions in his book which are simple but very effective. I use them in my sessions a lot.
1) What’s on your mind?
2) And what else?
3) What’s the real challenge here for you?
4) What do you want?
5) How can I help?
6) If you’re saying YES to this what are you saying NO to?
7) What was most useful for you?
Now over to you
What are the questions you are already using? I’m sure you do because otherwise you wouldn’t be here ;)
Last thoughts
If you are raising kids, more or less the same applies ;)
We can continue to snow plough the path for them. But maybe it’s time to get shovels for our kids as well. And do it together.
With love, Viviane
PS: If this is something you would like to work on, book a free discovery call with me right here. No strings attached.