Do you belong or do you fit in?
Being part of a globally mobile family and raising three third-culture-kids* I tend to reflect on fitting in vs. belonging on a frequent basis.
And almost every single time I go back to this quote from Brené Brown:
“Fitting in is one of the greatest
barriers to belonging. Fitting in is
about assessing a situation and
becoming who you need to be in order
to be accepted.
Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t
require us to change who we are; it
requires us to be who we are.”
Knowing the difference between "Fitting In vs. Belonging" is simply important. For me, for them, for us. We as parents decided at some point to lead a globally mobile family. So, it’s our responsibility to manage, support and guide ourselves and our children through each transition. As best as we can.
Let me give you an example:
When teachers tell me after a couple of weeks at a new school that our children just blend in as if they have always been part of the crowd, I sometimes hear very different stories at home. Yes, they like the new school. And they make it all work by adapting their behavior to what is expected. But they still miss their former school community terribly. Their friends. Their teachers. Their sports. They don’t belong 100% (yet).
Why is Belonging so important? Let me answer this briefly with another quote from Brené:
“One of the most important things about being a human being is feeling like you belong. If you get signals from your parents or your classmates that you don’t belong... it can really have a profound impact on your mental and physical health."
And exactly the same applies to any other workplace as well.
I invite you to take this thought with you. And see what comes up for you.
Warmly, Viviane
*A third-culture-kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of his/her/their developmental years outside the parents’ culture (s). – David C. Pollock
#transitions #thirdculturekids #selfleadership #lifelonglearning #belonging #coaching
👋 Hi, I’m Viviane. A Career Transition and Leadership Coach.
I’m offering bespoke 1:1 coaching journeys where I support you to redefine success based on your needs and your strengths. To have clarity, confidence and direction to create a career on your own terms.